Off again!

I can't do this anymore! I can't find the colors I want to show and feel! But I... I betrayed you today. I joined wordpress and now I have a blog there. I found the colors and the feel of it... And now to try one last cheap move ;)

I don't know..

...what to do.
This quasi-relationship that is part play, part seduction, part pure thrill, and 100% dangerous is too much of a turn-on to completely ignore or shut out, but of course... as always.. I know better >.<
I hate having common sense sometimes. I'm not going to say anything.. he did once but I let it slide because I don't want it to end and I don't want things to change, but eventually, something will change and, one way or another, I'll have to decide. I know what my end choice will be, it's the in-between one that I don't know about.
How much will my master permit before he draws his line?
How much is too much?

So Scared....

Well I know I'm not to blame but I feel more than a little responsible for the issues my Jaysin is having right now. I'm scared that the reason his mother wants him home tonight is to tell him he's no longer welcome in her house... No matter what happens though we are going over to Brian's later to get blazed and smashed... We'll need it I'm sure...

I hate myself

I will twist, turn, jump though hoops, and do anything just to be with him for a little bit longer.. Why can't I just take what I can get instead of trying anything and everything.

I didn't... and BLARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

Jaysin wouldn't have liked it at all... And he left class in a hurry to come and see/fuck me so it's all good :)

The reason for the overdone nastiness in the title is as follows. Friday night, Jaysin and I are blazed, happy, and munching on Chinese take-out... Gavin comes over. It was unexpected and Gavin stays over and wants to watch a movie. So instead of going to bed and fucking, we stay up and watch movie... and then we're tired and Jaysin's being lazy so I don't get laid...

Next morning, I get out of bed and of course; PERIOD TIME! I was pissed! It's my birthday and I don't get any. Darn. Damn. Shit. Fuck. Cunt. Let's all do the cuss word dance shall we?

Strange...

I am waiting for a text from my sweet slave who has to be in class right now instead of with me. I'm with a friend and I'm very, very horny...
 
Said friend is in possession of a dildo (none of which I have) and his condition for the usage of said pleasure object is that he gets to watch and jerk off to it. I don't mind, since he's seen me do that before, but my pet most likely will, so I'm making sure he's okay with it before doing anything.

I've ranted before about loyalty, and I would never, ever do something that would make my pet uncomfortable... but but but but but but but..... argh >.<

....He's replied that I can if I want but he doesn't want me to... grrr fine I won't..... but I still get to use the dildo apparently so bye-bye for now....

Whoopsies!

Well... I may get in trouble... But it's always worth it, don't you think?? That extra element of risk is so rewarding.. and once you've slipped past that boundary you can't go back...